Six easy steps to show hospitality through supper clubs

Today we’re talking about hosting groups and sharing hospitality with strangers who will soon turn into friends and if we are fortunate, may become as close as family.

I think I have always been a gatherer.

Hosting groups of people has always been a passion of mine.

Inviting people in and serving them is one of the most precious gifts we can give to another and today I’m going to share how you can do that.

I got the hospitality gene honestly

My parents were pastors in a local church for 40 years. They taught me how to welcome people through the doors of their home not with words but action.

I too, wanted to have that kind of home that welcomed rich and poor, young and old. Being intentional about living hospitality as a lifestyle not just an event.

So we’ve been practicing hospitality, as Romans 12:13 tells us to do, learning and growing as we go.

Sometimes people tell me they don’t think they can have people over… they think they aren’t good at it.

My kids all took piano lessons and sometimes I would have to remind them to practice their lesson. If they would’ve responded with, “I’m not Beethoven”, I would’ve said…”right, and this is why we practice”.

We practice not for perfection but out of love for our neighbor.

Living Hospitality as a lifestyle

In our world, hospitality is often associated with hotel or food service. We can even go to college and get degrees in it, but hospitality as the Bible teaches, is one of servanthood. This is the idea of literally putting myself beneath another to share what I have with them.

Hospitality pushes against that world system of “me first”.

I want to be served.

I don’t want to spend my time doing things that are beneath me.

The heart of hospitality says, I love you enough to invite you to my table, not so you can be impressed with me, but so I can show you how important I think you are.

The power of Invitation

The power of invitation can not be discounted. We all long to be invited in and made to feel part of something. This is why people often involve themselves in clubs or church.

The need for community and desire to find commonality and friendship is in each one of us. We desire to belong to something that matters. Something that will last.

We were created for community.

The idea of Supper Club

We started attending a large church almost a decade ago.

We loved it from the first time we walked through the doors, but we knew that it would take intention to find community in such a large room full of people.

In this place we have found wonderful friendships and a strong Christian community. One of the ways we did this was by starting a supper club.

We understand the importance of leaning into one another, as we invite small groups of people in who sit across a table from one another and look eyeball to eyeball, speak truth to one another and encourage each other on the journey.

Six easy steps to begin a supper club

1. Find people who desire to share community around a table. I start by praying about it. God who do you want to sit here at this table together? He leads me to just the right conversations and people. So I just ask… Hey I’m starting a supper club. We will meet one time a month for dinner in one another’s homes for a year. Does this sound like something you would be interested in doing?
2. Meet to plan the year. After you have gathered 6-8 households around the table you plan to meet on the same night each month. After that ask everyone to pick 2 months that would work for them to host.
3. Meet the same night each month. We have found the best chance of longevity for your group is to meet the same night each month. For instance the first Friday worked well for our first supper club. Unless the whole group decides to move the date leave it on the same day. This will eliminate preference, drama and sometimes discontinuing meeting all together because you can never find a date that works for everyone.
4. Everyone takes a turn. This does several things. I am not the leader of the group, just the organizer which eliminates a lot of pressure to “be the parent”. Everyone takes ownership of their turn. They choose what to serve or if they want to host outside of their home at a restaurant or park.
5. Commit to one year. So often we don’t like to commit to things because we may feel like if we say yes there’s no projected end to that commitment. Instead we want to give people on and off ramps. This makes people feel free to say yes without the pressure of a long term commitment. Let’s face it, seasons change and sometimes one extra thing is just too much. So after 1 year we reevaluate if this is still good for the group, and ask the question, “would you like to continue for another year”? If everyone wants to continue, we organize for the next year. If one persons says they need to leave the group and the rest still want to continue we bless them and let them know if they wish to return even for an evening they are always welcome.
6. We bless people in their coming and going. This is SO important! Have you ever been part of something, a church, club or small friend group, and then for whatever reason feel the need to stop or change directions? It is awkward to say the least. We always want to remember that inviting people to the table is not a marriage but an open handed invitation to friendship. We do not own them and we are not in middle school. When people make a choice to leave we will treat them the way we would want to be treated. Respect their decision and let them know they will be missed and they are loved.

Final words

I hope this has been a helpful post for those of you who desire to learn how to bring people around the table and practice hospitality.

We believe in this non threatening method of gathering people together so much we recently just started our 4th group.

This means every weekend we have a planned dinner party.

I heard a collective gasp from the introverts on here. 🙂 Jason and I are both fairly peopley, and we are empty nesters so in this season it works for us.

Don’t wait for someone else to give you the invitation.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment.

You can be the table setter.

Let me know below if this was a helpful post for you.

Happy day my friend!

Rose at The JennyWren