5 Secrets To The Lost Art Of Hospitality

Have you ever been to someones home where you can’t remember what you ate or did but you can’t wait to go back because of a feeling you had when you walked into the room.

Maybe it was grandma’s house. Or a friend who made you feel heard, safe and loved. Maybe it was in a new country where you felt alone and far from home.

Hospitality Around The World

I am often intrigued by different cultures. Especially the way people all over the world practice hospitality in their own unique form and style. But no matter what culture and part of the world you land Approachable Hospitality almost always includes the same things. Here are few of them.

1. Food and Drink. There’s just something about an offering of nourishment that warms people’s hearts and makes them feel happy and cared for. It may be a Cookie, or Crumpet with some afternoon tea or coffee. Depending on where you are in the world it could be Ugali, Falafel, or Aloo gobi. Food and drink offerings are a way of conveying love and acceptance to the person entering your home.
2. Genuine Care. When we care for others we show that through intentional listening, meeting a need, creating a safe place, or just through a hug and a smile. Let the focus be on the one in front of you. Treat them as you want to be treated. It’s not so much what you say but how you make them feel when they are with you.
3. Set the tone. From the moment someone arrives make them feel like you are grateful for them. Whether you express this in words or actions make sure you communicate these affirmations. “We’re so glad you came”! “We’ve Been waiting for you”! “We always love having you in our home”! Beyond that Make sure your space is clean enough for people not to feel distracted by clutter or afraid to sit down for fear of sitting in something sticky or smelly. However, if you make your house too clean and perfect it could feel unapproachable, uncomfortable or unattainable to your guest. A pillow out of place. A shelf that isn’t dusted. A few dishes in the sink, may actually send a message “we live here and you can be comfortable in this space too”.
4. You be You. Make your home yours and don’t apologize for what you do or don’t have. Your home speaks of who you are. It should be a reflection of your personality. Your mission here on earth is not to try to be like everyone else but embrace who you were meant to be. Be that. Do that. I promise you will feel more at peace when you start to embrace your own space and then fill it…or don’t… with things that make your house a home.
5. Start before you feel ready. Like anything else don’t wait to start practicing hospitality when you feel ready. Start this week. Call a few people ask them to come for a game night. For dinner. Or a campfire. Invite them to go out to dinner at a restaurant and come back for coffee and dessert. I promise you if you wait to start when you feel ready you never will. Don’t let perfect keep you from the present.

To The Perfectionist

I love to set a table, style a mantel or stage a room for a picture. It’s my hobby job. But While I love to create beauty and challenge myself to new things, I never want to forget the most beautiful moments and people in my life aren’t staged pictures in magazines. Making a table beautiful is not wrong. In fact it’s often a way we can show care for people when we invite them in. But Sometimes We must be willing to lay down the images of perfection in our head and replace that with the ordinary, flesh and blood, messes of life. Flexibility, Grace, and Sincere love can not be manufactured or formulated.

My Journey In Hospitality

I think My family would tell you I have grown through the years in these ways. I’m embarrassed to admit that as my children were growing up too often I would stress about the details and become monster mom before guests would arrive. I believe my heart and mind have changed as I have found a more gracious approach to hospitality and learned to let the little things fall away. I no longer stress that every corner, closet or toilet is in perfect condition. We live here and we make messes. If my friends aren’t okay with that then that’s on them. I believe as my love for people has grown so has my desire to truly practice hospitality even if my house doesn’t look picture perfect.

Your Invitation

So this is my invitation to you to start your own journey of hospitality today. If you’ve tried once but felt like you failed get back up and do it again. Don’t complicate it. Don’t overthink it. Somebody out there could use a friend and you may be that person. Be willing to reach out and offer sincere love, a steaming cup of coffee and a listening ear. You may be surprised by the joy you feel as you open yourself and your home up to others. And remember to be kind to yourself, be gracious to others, be flexible in your planning. When You approach hospitality like this eventually it will flow from you in an effortless way.

And Finally don’t forget your why. As I prepare for my guests I remind myself that my goal is to bless not impress. Blessing someone will take energy and thoughtfulness but the focus will be on them and not on how I look. It changes motivation from self-serving indulgence to self-less acts of love.

Today: May our homes be filled with laughter, love and peace. And may we share it with a world in need.

PIN FOR LATER